Darlin take the duct tape from the shelf
Save me from my foolish, drunken self
Character assassinations
From my spirits and libations
It s just the bottle talking now

As the intoxication flows
My sweet inebriation grows
When martinis pass my lips
All my quips get razor tips
It s just the bottle talking now

And I take another swallow
Could it be my leg is hollow?
Shot, with a beer to follow
My charm is cashed
I must be trashed

Darlin take this cocktail from my sight
Take my keys and make me spend the night
Won t live down the things I say
If I live to see another day
It s just the bottle talking now